Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith

WINNIPEG, MB

Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith.

“I’m not sure how he is on skates, but he can sure throw a punch,” said Jets GM Kevin Cheveldayoff. “I guess since he’s out of work now, we were able to sign him for a bargain.”

Thousands of Oscar-watchers were horrified by Smith’s actions at the recent broadcast, but apparently are willing to make an exception if you happen to be wearing skates.

“See that’s the problem,” said local hockey fan Dan Klippenstein. “He was wearing a suit. You can’t throw a punch like that if you’re wearing a suit. But if you’ve got a hockey jersey on, it’s totally acceptable. Get it?”

While the Film Academy is deciding how they might punish Smith, the NHL is figuring out ways to award players for exactly the same behaviour.

(photo credit: Gage Skidmore/CC/modified)

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