Winnipeg Jets Players Required to Sleep with Plastic Sheets on their Beds


After yet another horrid performance tonight, the mothers of all the Winnipeg Jets players have required their sons to sleep with plastic sheets on their beds from now on.

“I know they’re grown men, but they still seem to shit the bed far too often,” said one mother who asked to remain anonymous. “I was tired of having to clean up after my son.”

Jets players reluctantly agreed to the new requirements, saying it just might help.

“I probably won’t play any better, but at least I won’t have such a mess in the morning,” said one embarrassed player. “These plastic sheets are a godsend.”

Team coaches hope to have their players properly potty trained by next season, but are not making any promises.

“We’ve been playing like this since the middle of the season,” said one coach. “I’m hoping we can improve, but you know, we’re not miracle workers.”

(photo credit: mark6mauno/CC)

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