Donald Trump Signs Mennonite Hymnal


A Mennonite Hymnal signed on page 606 by President Donald Trump has recently appeared on eBay with an astronomical asking price of $85,000.

“Oh, no, not Hymn 606!” shouted Mrs. Stoltzfus. “He can deface any other page in the hymn book, but leave 606 alone!”

The signed hymn book has garnered a lot of attention, mostly from really embarrassed Mennonites.

“I sure hope I win the auction,” said Pastor Janzen. “I’d be willing to pay almost anything to keep that book out of Lutheran hands. We’d never hear the end of it. They’d mock us endlessly for it.”

It’s not known when Trump signed the hymnal, but rumours have it he stayed behind and signed every hymn book after attending a service last week in Holmes County.

“We’re thinking there might be more of these out there, so check your hymn books this Sunday,” said Pastor Janzen. “If we find enough of them, we just might be able to afford that foosball table in the youth room after all!”

Mrs. Friesen of Henderson, Nebraska says she doesn’t really know what the big deal is. “At least he’s not signing Bibles,” she said. “I mean, that wouldn’t be respectful at all…”

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