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The Outside World

Donald Trump Flip Flops on Mennonites, Now Says He “Loves Them”

June 5, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In yet another flip-flop from the position he held during the election campaign, where he threatened to build a wall to prevent Mennonites from coming into the country, Donald Trump now claims he […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion

April 29, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After months of heated negotiation, Mrs. Eleanor Brandt of Fresno just sold her top margarine container to investor Elon Musk for a record $44 billion. “He took it no questions asked,” said Mrs […]

The Outside World

Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter

April 18, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Left-of-centre Twitter users have threatened to leave the platform en masse if the Elon Musk takeover goes through. In an effort to placate the angry crowd, Musk has offered users a free […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Politician Tweets Photo of Wife Mucking the Stalls After 12-Hour Nursing Shift

January 11, 2022 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENHOF, MB Not wanting anyone to outdo the Mennos when it comes to ill-advised Tweets, Manitoba politician Ernie Janzen, 61, quickly snapped a photo of his wife Doris mucking the stalls just after she came […]

The Outside World

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled

February 28, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It’ll be a near empty theatre tonight as the half dozen or so Hollywood stars who didn’t get themselves cancelled this year gather to waltz down a socially distanced red carpet and pat […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Bible School Offering Money Back Guarantee if Not Engaged By the End of First Semester
    September 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Launches New App WautDeSchissjat
    October 4, 2021
  • Recent Overdoses in Altona May Be Linked to Star Anise
    July 17, 2018
  • Paul Maurice to Coach Grunthal Red Wings
    December 17, 2021
  • Mueller Report Finds No Collusion with the Russian Mennonites
    March 25, 2019
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