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Food and Drink

Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe

June 6, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was denied boarding of JantsiedJet Flight 606 this afternoon after her ice cream pails full of cracklings were declared a “liquid” and therefore not suitable for carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! […]

The Outside World

Anti-Pants Pastor Caught Wearing Pants

December 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The leader of southern Manitoba’s largest anti-pants cult was spotted at the Winnipeg airport this week wearing a freshly-pressed pair of men’s slacks. “Well, unfortunately they don’t let you board the plane in […]

The Outside World

Controversial Politician Supports Mandatory Vacations

September 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A controversial candidate in the Winkler area has come out in favour of mandatory vacations, a plan that shockingly includes vacations even for dairy farmers. “We have to think of the health of […]

The Outside World

Ted Falk Demands Reinstatement of Steinbach-Ottawa Greyhound Line

August 25, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After discovering that air travel will be restricted to vaccinated travellers only, Provencher MP Ted Falk, who may or may not be vaccinated, may or may not have sent a desperate plea to […]

Church

Mennonite Usher Duct Tapes Unruly Parishioner to Church Pew

August 12, 2021 Andrew

WAKARUSA, IN An unnamed local man was flying off the handle in church this Sunday and had to be restrained with duct tape by South Wakarusa Mennonite’s top usher Mr. Beck. “He was clearly intoxicated […]

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