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thanksgiving

Food and Drink

Thanksgiving Leftovers Miraculously Resurrected After Three Days

October 12, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Days after being forgotten about in a margarine container at the back of the fridge, a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers were resurrected from the dead by local plumber and church elder, Peter […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card

October 10, 2021 Andrew

ROSENHIMMEL, SK Oncle Thomas was turned away at the biannual Peters Thanksgiving gathering in Rosenhimmel this week after he conveniently “forgot” his proof of vaccination. “Oba, I think I left it at home somewhere,” said […]

Mennonite Life

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

The Outside World

Trump Invites Saudi Crown Prince to Share Thanksgiving Dinner

November 22, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Spirits were high and there was an air of celebration at the White House today, as the Saudi Crown Prince agreed to join President Trump for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. “I’ve […]

Food and Drink

Hungry President Trump Reluctantly Pardons Delicious Hutterite Turkey

November 20, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In his greatest act of selflessness and humility since taking the Oval Office, President Donald Trump pardoned a delicious Hutterite-raised turkey today. Trump will now have to dine on inferior store-bought turkeys this […]

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