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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Woman is a Real Mother Smucker

July 26, 2021 Andrew

WOOSTER, OH During the pandemic, Mrs. Smucker of Wooster, Ohio has been holed up watching MTV all day and discovered that a lot of music videos these days refer to “Mother Smuckers.” “I don’t recognize […]

Mennonite Life

Help Mr. Funk Decide: Is He Swiss or Russian Mennonite?

March 2, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Funk of Kitchener has recently uncovered information on a popular genealogy website that has completely shattered his conception of himself. “I’ve had a crisis of identity,” said Mr. Funk. “I always thought […]

Mennonite Life

Anthropologists Shocked! Russian Mennonites aren’t really Russian and Pennsylvania Dutch aren’t really Dutch

November 7, 2019 Andrew

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND Anthropological researchers from the University of New Zealand have recently made a shocking discovery about two prominent groups of Mennonites, the so-called Russians and the Pennsylvania Dutch. “Neither one of them are […]

Quizzes

Test Your Knowledge of Pennsylvania Dutch!

August 15, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet has created this fun quiz to test your knowledge of the Pennsylvania Dutch language. Let’s see how you do. (You can also test your knowledge of Plautdietsch, spoken by Russian Mennonites here.) […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Area Man’s Fingers Permanently Stained By Ketchup Chips
    June 25, 2018
  • Anabaptists Gone Wild: A Mennonite Spring Break in Pictures
    March 28, 2017
  • Mr. Toews Realizes He’s Been Saying His Own Name Wrong This Whole Time
    May 18, 2022
  • Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs
    June 28, 2019
  • Thousands of Winnipegers Visit Steinbach and Decide ‘It Doesn’t Suck’
    July 22, 2016
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