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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Woman is a Real Mother Smucker

July 26, 2021 Andrew

WOOSTER, OH During the pandemic, Mrs. Smucker of Wooster, Ohio has been holed up watching MTV all day and discovered that a lot of music videos these days refer to “Mother Smuckers.” “I don’t recognize […]

Mennonite Life

Grandkids Horrified as Grandma Reimer Texts “I’m Mennonite AF”

June 5, 2020 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Mrs. Reimer, 68, of Manitoba Colony was very excited to try out the new iPhone she just got and was immediately impressed by how easy it was to use. “You don’t even have […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Children Excited to Be Able to Say “Ox and Ass” Without Punishment Today

December 25, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mennonite children around the globe are excited for that one day a year when they receive presents, eat chocolate, and can say the word “ass” with impunity, at least within the context of […]

Mennonite Life

Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Ryan and Diane Hiebert of Abbotsford have busied themselves buying truckloads of completely useless shit for the holiday season. It’s been quite stressful for the couple as their list of people […]

Mennonite Life

7 Mennonite F-Words Everyone Should Know

December 2, 2017 Andrew

Of course, we have “the” F-word, too, but I’ve already drank enough castor oil in my life that I don’t want to go down that road. Here are 7 other F-words that are essential to […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency
    February 28, 2019
  • Trump Pays Hush Money to Elderly Mennonite Woman
    May 3, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Select the Perfect Pair of Crocs for a Night on the Town
    July 7, 2021
  • Mennonite Man’s Twenty Waved Off After Distinct Kicking Motion
    May 29, 2022
  • Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Hired by Fox News
    October 29, 2018
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