The Daily Bonnet
  • Mennonite Life
  • Food and Drink
  • Church
  • The Outside World
  • About the Daily Bonnet

justin bieber

Mennonite Life

Ferrari Bans Mennonite Man from Buying Any More Cars

June 15, 2022 Andrew

MARANELLO, IT Prestigious Italian automaker Ferrari has banned Kjnels Wiebe of Taber, Alberta from buying any more cars after he “totally wrecked the aesthetic of the whole thing.” “You should see the spoiler he put […]

The Outside World

Tim Hortons Collaborates with Gordon Lightfoot for New ‘Gordon Bits’

December 22, 2021 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON Fresh off the heals of their Justin Bieber collaboration, donut manufacturer Tim Hortons has decided to make sweet tasty balls with the second most legendary Canadian musician they could find, Gordon Lightfoot. “I […]

Food and Drink

Tim Hortons Collabs with Mr. Wiebe to Offer New Line of Mennonite Products

December 11, 2021 Andrew

OAKVILLE, ON Justin Wiebe, 23, of London, Ontario has just signed a lucrative $8,000,000 contract to design Mennonite-inspired Timbits and other products for Timmies locations across Canada. “They approached me in the MB lot after […]

The Outside World

Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church

March 7, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After proudly recording what is probably the worst song in pop music history, Justin Bieber, sporting a pink hoodie and neck tattoos, decided the most appropriate place to debut “Yummy” was at […]

The Outside World

Philippines to Canada: “We Don’t Want Your Trash!”

May 29, 2019 Andrew

MANILA, PHILIPPINES In recent days, Malaysia has joined the Philippines in denouncing Canada and demanding that Justin Bieber be returned to North America. “We’re sick and tired of Canada sending us all their unwanted trash,” […]

Posts navigation

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Man Just Happens to Find Unattended Amazon Packages on Front Doorsteps All Over Town
    July 11, 2021
  • 16-Year-Old Swede Tops Canadian Election Poll
    September 24, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Completes Bathroom Renovation in Mere Decades
    January 9, 2022
  • Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End
    July 27, 2018
  • World’s “Most Powerful Nation” Loses Yet Another War
    August 17, 2021
June 2022
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  
« May    

 
YOUR TRUSTED SOURCE FOR MENNONITE SATIRE

Copyright © 2022 The Daily Bonnet - All Rights Reserved