MOSCOW, RUSSIA After high level talks this weekend, Russian President Vladimir Putin has decided to team up with his American counterpart Joe Biden in a “new heavy metal side project called Minor Incursion.” “We’ve only […]
GOESSEL, KS After a tight vote in the US Senate, President Joe Biden has been ousted and will be replaced with a half-asleep Mennonite man from just outside Goessel, Kansas. “Shhh, you don’t want to […]
BRANDON, MB One resident of Manitoba’s largest city is sick and tired of all the support arch-rival Brandon’s been getting as of late. “Everyone’s all ‘Let’s go Brandon, let’s go!” explained hurt U of W […]
ATLANTA, GA CNN news anchors got down on their hands and knees this week begging President Joe Biden to at least “start another war in North Korea or something” to make up for his exit […]
WASHINGTON, DC After the Taliban retook Afghanistan in a record-setting fifteen minutes, the glorious nation of the United States of America has once again lost another war they shouldn’t have been waging in the first […]
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