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Church

Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens

July 30, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB New documents suggest that a local church group hired a Private Investigator last month to dig up dirt on every Klassen in the Province of Manitoba. “It’s always good to keep tabs on […]

Church

Mennonite Church Celebrates 150 Years of Passive Aggressive Behaviour

July 3, 2021 Andrew

FRADLIJCHTHAL, SK A local Mennonite church is coming together this weekend to eat dill pickles and commemorate their long-standing commitment to passive aggressive behaviour. “As one of the historic peace churches, we know that this […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Grandmas Hired to Lead National Contact Tracing Program

November 5, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Oma Rempel of Saskatoon has just signed on to head the Canadian national contract tracing program. “We knew we had to go to the experts,” said Prime Minister Trudeau. “Plus no one could […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Woman’s Glasses are So Foggy She Can’t Even See Who to Judge at the Liquor Store

September 15, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Fogged-up glasses have one advantage in the Mennonite town of Steinbach – they make it absolutely impossible to recognize anyone in the liquor store. “Not only do the masks obscure your face, but […]

Mennonite Life

Facebook Rolls Out New ‘Disapproving Mennonite Grandma’ Reaction Button

May 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After finding the new ‘hug’ reaction to be a little too intimate for their liking, Mennonites demanded a reaction button that was more suited to their general inclinations. In response to their demands, […]

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