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Mennonite Life

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

The Outside World

Kitchener, Ontario to be Renamed Berlin

December 4, 2019 Andrew

BERLIN, ON Eager to reclaim its past glory, the city of Kitchener, Ontario has decided to go back to calling itself Berlin. “The only reason we changed that name in the first place was to […]

The Outside World

American Tourist ‘Totally Wasted’ For the Rest of the Trip After Just One German Beer

July 19, 2019 Andrew

MUNICH, GERMANY Light beer enthusiast Mr. Johan Yoder of Lancaster decided to take a trip to Germany with his friends this summer. Yoder soon discovered, however, that his beer drinking skills were not up to […]

The Outside World

Volkswagen Offers Customers Financial Compensation for the Embarrassment of Driving a Volkswagen

January 3, 2018 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY After executive Oliver Schmidt was sentenced to seven years in prison for the Volkswagen emissions scandal, the German automaker is now offering embarrassed customers financial compensation for the “utter humiliation of having to […]

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