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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

Mennonite Life

Fully Vaccinated Mennonites Can Remove their Bonnets in Public

May 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference at the White House today President Joe Biden announced that starting next week fully-vaccinated Mennonites will be allowed to remove their bonnets in all public places. “And the men […]

The Outside World

Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings

July 20, 2020 Andrew

QUEBEC CITY, QC After an outbreak of “uncontrolled sassiness,” the government of Quebec is trying to reign things in and is requiring all residents to humble themselves and wear traditional religious head coverings of some […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Wears His Wife’s Düak A Bit Too Low

April 14, 2020 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Earl Fehr, 48, was sorting through the laundry the other day and found himself the perfect item to protect himself during his visits to the grocery store to buy toilet paper […]

The Outside World

Trump Bans Shipping Any More Mennonite Headscarves to Canada

April 6, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A leaked White House memo revealed that President Trump had been putting pressure on 3M to stop selling all their Mennonite headscarves to Canada. “We have to keep those duaks right here in […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb
    October 2, 2021
  • Volkswagen Offers Customers Financial Compensation for the Embarrassment of Driving a Volkswagen
    January 3, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Finds Money Mysteriously Left Behind on Restaurant Table
    August 17, 2016
  • Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday
    August 21, 2019
  • Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister
    April 13, 2021
July 2022
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