It’s a slippery slope. First they said it was okay in the outside world. Then they said we should tolerate them. Now they’re trying to infiltrate our churches. That’s right. Rich people. Don’t get me […]
GRUENHIMMELSCHANTZ, SK One local church has come under intense scrutiny, as of late, for being “insufficiently jerkish” for the rest of the churches in the area. “They’re apostates. We can no longer fellowship with folks […]
HEAVEN Deceased members of a local congregation claiming to have “figured it all out once and for all back in 1973” have found Heaven super boring and lonely. “I’ve been up here since the summer […]
HILLSBORO, KS Local man Mr. Klassen has lived his whole life with deep-seated fears that his pouring baptism at the age of 19 just wasn’t good enough. “So, I’ve finally decided to get dunked,” said […]
LANCASTER, PA After a particularly heated membership meeting this past week, the South Lancaster Mennonite Church has decided to split the entire congregation into more manageable units of one. “At first we decided to just […]
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