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Church

Area Woman Instantly Converts to Whatever Cult Aggressively Thrust This Pamphlet into Her Hand

May 24, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman Doris Loewen, 43, is now a full-fledged member of the Church of Bountiful God (Perspiration) after a gospel tract was trust into her hands with such force that she had no […]

The Outside World

Anti-Pants Pastor Caught Wearing Pants

December 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The leader of southern Manitoba’s largest anti-pants cult was spotted at the Winnipeg airport this week wearing a freshly-pressed pair of men’s slacks. “Well, unfortunately they don’t let you board the plane in […]

Church

Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens

July 30, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB New documents suggest that a local church group hired a Private Investigator last month to dig up dirt on every Klassen in the Province of Manitoba. “It’s always good to keep tabs on […]

The Outside World

Harrison Ford to Star as Southern Manitoba Cult Leader in ‘The Fugitive’ Reboot

June 1, 2021 Andrew

DAUMELSKOPP, MB Hollywood icon Harrison Ford is set to star as a southern Manitoba cult leader fleeing from justice in the new ‘Fugitive’ film. “It’s the first time in my career I’m playing the villain,” […]

The Outside World

Cult Leader Really Hoping to be Arrested on Live TV

May 29, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, MB Cult leaders across Canada have been doing everything they can to get themselves arrested on live television. “I’m stalling until the TV crews get here,” said Dommheit cult leader Pastor Timmy Thiessen. “This […]

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