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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man’s Twenty Waved Off After Distinct Kicking Motion

May 29, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With just minutes left to play in game 5 of the Alberta crokinole finals, it seemed that Calgary’s Blake Kornelsen had flicked the twenty of his life. However, after consultation with the video […]

Church

Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year

April 16, 2022 Andrew

OSLER, SK Easter is a confusing time for Mennonite children across the Canadian prairies as, for some reason, we’re all singing songs about Calgary, Alberta again. One such affected child is little Lisa Braun, 9, […]

The Outside World

Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”

March 18, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Justin Trudeau was at the top of a list of 313 Canadians banned from going “within a hundred kilometers” of Alberta. “We don’t want him wearing a Flames jersey either,” said Calgary man […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”

November 6, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Wilmer Peters, 68, has been driving around Calgary for decades without ever using his turn signal, which he claims is a violation of his privacy. “I don’t need people looking over […]

The Outside World

Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener

June 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Edmonton Elks will face the Calgary Grammar Police in the CFL season opener on August 6 at Commonwealth Stadium. “It’ll be a battle for the ages as the Calgary Grammar Police will […]

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