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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Bares More than Just Arms at St. Malo

August 7, 2020 Andrew

ST. MALO, MB Mr. Fehr, 62, of Kleefeld decided the family needed a nice afternoon at the beach, so he filled the trunk with zoat and headed off for St. Malo beach. “Oba, but when […]

The Outside World

Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands

March 20, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI, FL After tens of thousands of irresponsible “dude bros” disregarded health officials and decided that the pandemic wasn’t going to stop them from partying and spreading the disease to their elderly relatives, local sharks […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Man Beached on the Shores of Lake Winnipeg

August 11, 2018 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB A 43-year-old man from over by Reinland somewheres was found beached on the shores of Lake Winnipeg this weekend. Thankfully locals were able to keep him hydrated with Rogers Golden Syrup while […]

The Outside World

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

Mennonite Life

Cindy Klassen Spotted Wearing Skates at Beach

August 2, 2017 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Legendary Olympic speed-skater Cindy Klassen took to the waters at Grand Beach this past week wearing the same pair of speed-skates she wore when she won 5 medals at the 2006 Turin […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • A Complete List of Steinbachers at the Anti-Mask Rally Today
    November 14, 2020
  • Documentary “The Shape of Water” Tells the Story of a Mennonite Woman and Her Husband Abe
    March 8, 2018
  • Manitoba Man Missing Wide Range of Body Parts After Spending Frigid Winter Night Staring at the Moon
    January 20, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Stealing Her Neighbour’s Ham
    November 25, 2019
  • Donald Trump Gives Huge Tax Break to Anyone Willing to Wear One of Those Stupid ‘Make America Great Again’ Hats
    December 29, 2017
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