Zalenskky First Ever Satirist Not Too Chicken Shit to Go Into Politics

KYIV, UKRAINE

A new survey has found that 99% of satirists were perfectly content to sit behind a keyboard and mock politicians but basically none had the courage to actually do something about the problems they’re so gifted at pointed out.

“Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? Politics? No thanks,” said American political satirist Stephen Colbert. “Too much hassle. I’ll sit here and mock those guys from the comfort of my Manhattan studio, thank you very much.”

Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger also said he had no interest in a political career.

“You think I could get elected in southern Manitoba?” said Unger. “I guess I have the right surname, but my liberal views on sleeping in on Sundays and perogies in every cupboard are certain to make me unelectable.”

According to the study, only one former satirist in the history of the entire world was actually badass enough to set aside his keyboard/television warrior role to become a real one: Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

“Putin better watch himself,” said one political commentator. “He’s dealing with the only satirist ever courageous enough to step out from behind a keyboard.”

In response, Putin admitted that Zelenskyy is likely the world’s first satirist-turned-President, but that as leader of Russia he much prefers to take on the role of President-turned-war-criminal.

(photo credit: President.gov.ua, CC BY 4.0, wikicommons)

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