Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page


A new study out of the University of Chilliwack has attributed the entirety of Canada’s economic downturn to the fact that Canadians are spending all every day refreshing their Covid test result screens.

“It’s estimated that a typical worker will spend five hours out of an eight hour day just refreshing the screen,” said U of C professor Dr. Friesen. “The other three hours are typically spent trying to get on the phone to make a Covid test appointment.”

Ellen Petkau of Chilliwack is working from home, but has little time to get any work done with her busy schedule of refreshing the test result page.

“Had a sore throat. Took four days to get an appointment. Now it’s been four full days of refreshing the page,” said Petkau. “Hopefully I’ll get my results sometime in the new year.”

Petkau estimates she’ll be working between fifty and sixty hours this week.

“I’m working overtime refreshing that page,” said Unrau. “My finger is getting pretty tired, but, hey, I’m a trooper.”

Refreshing the Covid results page is now the number one online activity after genealogical research, cat videos, and swiping left on unattractive Mennonite men.

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