Is Pope Francis a Closet Mennonite?

VATICAN CITY

There are rumbles among the Catholic faithful that their beloved pontiff may be espousing views more consistent with traditional Anabaptism than Roman Catholicism, and some are concerned the Pope may be leading the Church in a Mennonite direction.

“What the heck, Francis? All this talk of peace and helping the poor?” said one local church-goer. “I’m sorry but it sounds more like he works for the MCC than the Vatican.”

The current Pope, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio in Buenos Aires, took his name from St. Francis of Assissi, who lived a simple life of voluntarily poverty and care for the poor. This stands in stark contrast to some of the Church’s most notorious Popes like Innocent IV who spearheaded the Inquisition or Sergius III who ruled during a time so corrupt and violent it’s been dubbed the “pornocracy” by scholars.

“Yeah, so, like what’s up with Francis? The Church has always been about the rich and powerful…well, not during Jesus’ time, of course, but anyway. The point is I’m a little concerned that Pope Francis is going to turn us all into Mennonites or something.”

Representatives from the Mennonite Church have denied allegations that Francis is a Mennonite plant and noted that a lot of Mennonite churches could use a man like Francis at the helm themselves.

(photo credit: Republic of Korea/CC/modified)

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