Poll Shows Reverend Johan’s Schmaunt Fat Party with Commanding Lead Over Trudeau’s Liberals


Justin Trudeau’s Liberal Party has been struggling as of late to such a degree that even Donald Trump has a higher approval rating in Canada than the Prime Minister. The poll placed a Trudeau-led Liberal Party below the Conservatives, The Green Party, The NDP, Donald Trump, the Christian Heritage Party, that blogger who lives in his mother’s basement out on Reimer Avenue, Tim Hortons sour cream glazed donuts, the Calgary Flames, potholes, Winnipeg winters, and Reverend Johan’s Party for the Proliferation of Schmaunt Fat.

“He’s seen a real decline in popularity as of late,” said pollster Alison Teichroeb. “I mean, he’s so unpopular that even a one-issue party like Reverend Johan’s is doing better.”

If an election were held today, Andrew Scheer’s Conservatives would win a minority government with the Schmaunt Fat Party likely holding the balance of power.

“Things are really looking up for Reverend Johan,” said Teichroeb. “If things play out the way they look like they might, he would be in a real good position to promote his pro-schmaunt fat agenda.”

But with months to go before the next federal election, Trudeau does have time to improve his fortunes.

“He might stand a chance if he can learn to stuff a sausage or clean a chicken,” said Teichroeb. “The only thing more popular than white cream gravy is all the meat that goes with it.”

In the meantime, some people are questioning Andrew Scheer’s strategy of text-messaging everyone in Canada.

“If he’s trying to reach Mennonites,” said Teichroeb, “he’s going to have to try a different method. I mean, have you ever seen your Taunte Lina try to work a cell phone? It’s a disaster waiting to happen.”‘

(photo credit: Alex Guibord/CC)

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