SAN FRANCISCO, CA
For centuries French astrologer Nostradamus has been duping the gullible and/or intoxicated into believing his 16th centuries delusional ramblings had some predictive power. Well, it seems even the fall of Twitter has not escaped his gaze and this time the harshest of skeptics are convinced.
“In the year two thousand twenty and two /
A bird shall fall, its feathers blue /
From the sky shall fall this bird /
And when the world has finally heard /
They all shall flee as one from Nero /
Except Elon Musk and Ben Shapiro.”
“I must say, he nailed it this time,” said amateur astrologist Adam Banman.
Nostradamus apparently also made other profound predictions for the year such as the 2022 Oscar slap, Taylor Swift’s chart success, and the return of the McRib.