Mr. Penner Can’t Believe He’s Now in Charge of Walmart


After “reading somewheres” about his “frintschoft Greg Penner who’s in charge of all the Valmarts,” Mr. Penner of Vankla decided his familial connection earned him a few privileges.

“Time for some changes around here once,” said Mr. Penner, waltzing into the Winkler Walmart with his wife Mary following ten feet behind. “Oba, it’s about time a Penner took over this place.”

According to Penner’s new plan, the store will now feature massive 200 pound bag of Ronnie’s knackzoat, double the space dedicated to sausage, and an entire aisle featuring German hymnals and catechism books.

“Plus, we might as well rename it Wall Mart after my good friend Guillermo Wall from Cuauht√©moc,” said Mr. Penner. “Oh, and we’re also getting rid of the entire underwear section. Oba!”

Mr. Penner’s wife Mary has been tasked with replacing the entire housewares section with mix-and-match teacup sets she finds at the MCC.

(photo credit: Lordcolus/CC)

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