98% of Mennos Still Using a Landline


A new survey conducted in the lobby of the MBEM Church in Winkler reveals that a full 98% of Mennonites still rely on their landline telephone to communicate with the outside world.

“Ach, I can’t hear nothing from those mobile phones,” said church member Earl Krahn. “Plus, they’re just so confusing!”

Mr. Krahn is not alone. He gets together with his buddies every Thursday morning to drink coffee and complain about all the new technology these days.

“It’s all useless garbage to me,” complained Krahn. “Mobile phones! Computers! Internal combustion engines! Who needs it!”

The survey also revealed that of the 98% of Mennos who still use a landline, almost all of them are using a rotary phone.

“It’s like the song says, if it’s good enough for my Oncle Pieta, it’s good enough for me,” said Krahn. “If it ain’t broke, why fix it!”

Krahn and his pals in Winkler also conduct all their correspondence with frintschoft in Jantsied and Mexico by sending hand-written letters in the mail.

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