Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Making Coleslaw No One Will Eat


Eleanor Funk, 71, has been working tirelessly all day chopping cabbage and mixing it with carrots, lemon juice, mayonnaise, and vinegar in preparation for tomorrow’s delightful Funk Easter gathering in which not a single person will touch the coleslaw.

“I’m a realist. I know no one will eat it. I make it just to give the appearance of a well-balanced meal,” said Funk. “It’s the same thing with my bean salad.”

With a fresh baked ham, mashed potatoes, cream corn, and brightly coloured paska buns, it’s no wonder the coleslaw gets neglected.

“It’s unfair, really, for the coleslaw to be ignored like that, just because there are more delicious looking options,” said Funk. “It was the same way for me at the church Young Peoples group in the 60s until I found my Peter.”

Despite the certainty the coleslaw will be left completely unconsumed, Funk maintains its worth the trouble.

“They’ll ask for it if it’s not there,” said Funk. “They won’t eat it, but they’ll notice if it’s missing.”

Funk says if the coleslaw doesn’t get eaten at this gathering she plans to bring the same unused slaw to the next three or four gatherings or until it starts to turn.

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