Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts


Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely consumed by the time Jo March even appeared on the screen.

“I don’t know what happened,” said Mrs. Unrau. “There I was waiting for Kathy and Ashley to show up and, before you know it, my popcorn was completely gone!”

The coming attractions had not yet even begun and Mrs. Unrau was desperate in need of more popcorn.

“Ashley was hesitant to share hers,” explained Mrs. Unrau, “but I came early to save seats so the least she could do in drop a few kernels in my bag.”

Mrs. Unrau also consumed a package of red liquorice and three Coffee Crisp bars before the opening credits rolled on the screen.

“I’ve gone to see Little Women every night this week and this happens every time,” said Mrs. Unrau. “There’s just something about Louisa May Alcott that makes me hungry!”

Mrs. Unrau was also scheduled to bring donuts to work on Friday but found there were just two of the dozen left by the time she arrived at her desk.

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