Mennonite Woman Accused of Wearing Makeup After Lipstick is Found on Husband’s Collar


Mrs. Neustadter of Neuanlage was hauled in by the church board this week after a bright red streak of lipstick was discovered on her husband’s collar.

“I can’t believe that Mrs. Neustadter would defile herself with makeup,” said Elder Friesen. “Oba, the women in this town sure could use a lesson in modesty!”

Although Mrs. Neustadter denied ever wearing any lipstick, the elders met well into the evening on Sunday trying to figure out the appropriate punishment for such an obvious violation.

“The worst thing about this is that she’s denying it,” exclaimed Mr. Friesen. “But the evidence is clear! I mean, how else did the lipstick get there?”

Despite harsh criticism of Mrs. Neustadter and her debauchery, the town has rallied around Mr. Neustadter who, apparently, had no idea there was lipstick on his collar.

“The man is a hero,” said Mr. Friesen. “He’s been through so much over the years…and now this! It’s really so sad.”

Even though she adamantly denies the charges, Mrs. Neustadter is being forced to apologize in front of the congregation, while Mr. Neustadter has been promoted to head of the church Men’s Ministry.

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