Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot

MORDEN, MB

There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision to buy and drive the only Renault in town.

Waut de schissjat! Isn’t that Mr. Wiens’s car?” wondered Mrs. Plett of Winkler before slamming on the brakes to take a photo. “This is going straight to the elders!”

Mrs. Plett decided since she was in Morden anyway, she might as well hide in the bushes and see if she recognized any more Winkler plates.

“Ach! And there’s the Klassens!” said Mrs. Plett, frantically recording their details. “And, will wonders never cease – the Rempels!”

Mrs. Plett spent all afternoon in the bushes across the street and by the end of the evening had a list of more than a hundred Winklerites to report to the authorities.

“My biggest disappointment was when Pastor Dave showed up,” said Mrs. Wiens. “I’m not sure who I can even report him to.”

Mrs. Plett is also planning to stake out the movie theatre at the Southland Mall this week to make sure none of her fellow church-goers are attending any R-rated movies.

Brandon Wheat Kings Qualify for Expanded NHL Playoffs
Music Fans Celebrate as Ticketmaster Earns Zero Dollars this Month