Mennonite Man Finally Returns His Empties


After accumulating ten years worth of empties in his unfinished basement, local man Carl Toews, finally decided it was time to return them and get his 5 cent per bottle deposit.

“Most Mennonites just destroy the evidence,” said Toews, “but I wasn’t one to throw that deposit away. I just tossed the bottles into my basement and waited for the right moment.”

That moment was this past weekend, when Toews knew that most of Winkler would be away at Easter gatherings or watching hockey on TV.

“I quickly loaded them up onto the truck and off I went,” said Toews. “Actually, I had to make two trips.”

It was the largest deposit of empties the Pembina Valley had ever seen.

“Luckily I had my ski-mask so I don’t think anyone was able to identify me,” said Toews. “And now I’m a very rich man.”

Toews says the guy at the beer store demanded proof that he had not consumed all this booze over the weekend.

“I just glared into this eyes and said, ‘Does I look like a Mordener to you?'” said Toews. “After that he handed me my money and I went merrily on my way.”

(photo credit: Jacob Botter/CC)

Facebook Debate About 'Eternal Security' Results in the Condemnation of Millions
Mennonite Church Sells New 'What Would Jansen Do' Bracelets