Manitoba Health Data to Be Reported Using Flannelgraph Boards


Starting this week, all upcoming health updates in the province will be reported using the most accurate medium the province was willing to supply: an old flannelgraph board hauled out of a church basement somewhere.

“In order to keep Manitobans safe, we need to be providing residents with the most reliable and accurate data that’s able to be displayed on a flannelgraph board,” said Health Minister Audrey Gordon. “I’ve already got the deputy minister gathering all the cloth Bible figures they can find.”

Each week, minister Gordon plans to do a brief Bible story from the New Testament, such as the time Jesus healed a man from leprosy, followed by a really vague application to our current health situation.

“In order for folks to make informed decisions about their own health risk, we need to give them the very best flannelgraph stories that money can buy,” said Gordon. “Or at least the best flannelgraph stories we can find used at the MCC store.”

Gordon was eager to show off the new program, but her flannelgraph demonstration went awry when the Jesus figure went missing and all the cloth figures who needed healing were left to fend for themselves.

(photo credit: Bjorn Bulthuis/CC)

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