Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company


Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early 2012, and was told, just before she passed, that she had moved all the way up to number 6,315 in line.

“It’s really too bad she had to go like this,” said Mrs. Goerzen’s daughter Melissa. “She was so close to getting to speak with someone about switching to the new 4G network. I think she might have made it had she been able to hold out for another year or two.”

During her time on hold, Mrs. Goerzen was informed by family members about the birth of three grandchildren and the marriage of her youngest daughter Samantha to some guy from over by Plum Coulee.

“She missed out on a lot,” said Melissa. “I really wish she would have chosen the Call Back option. They promised to get in touch with her by 8:15 pm…sometime in the year 2031.”

A funeral for Mrs. Goerzen is scheduled for this weekend. She will be buried next to her late husband Peter who passed away waiting for the cable guy back in the late 90s.

“It’s nice to imagine Mom and Dad together again,” said Melissa. “There they are, up in Heaven…in the Mennonite section, of course.”

Experts say the average Canadian spends more than seven years of their life on hold with the phone company. It skyrockets to a full fifteen years if credit card companies and banks are included.

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