Kitchener Man Finally Meets His Waterloo


Mr. Eby, 79, has been looking all over the Tri-City area for a suitable life partner after his wife Agnes died in 2008 and it seems that the Kitchener area man has finally met his Waterloo.

“I’ve been visiting Mennonite church lobbies and Bingo nights for years now and I always avoided Waterloo, for obvious reasons,” said Eby. “But with things closing up, I’d exhausted all my options in Kitchener and finally ventured into Waterloo.”

For Mr. Eby and his new Waterloo paramour, it was love at first sight.

“It looks like my battle for love will end here on this hill in Waterloo,” explained Eby. “I never thought I’d fall to a Russian Mennonite, but Doris Klassen and her plumi moos were just irresistible!”

For the single seniors of Kitchener, the defeat of Mr. Eby will come as something of a relief.

“It’s too bad that there’s one less eligible Mennonite man on the market,” said Ms. Gingerich. “But if this means Mr. Eby will stop bringing over his stale cinnamon buns in an effort to seduce me, then I’m all for it. I wish him and Ms. Klassen all the best.”

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