Tickets for Mennonite Hip-Hop Musical ‘Hostetler’ Impossible to Get


Tickets for the new hip-hop musical telling the life story of former NFL quarterback Jeff Hostetler were snatched up so quickly that even Mrs. Kauffman couldn’t get her hands on a pair.

“I’ve been waiting for months to see Hostetler: The Musical, so it’s really disappointing that I could only find a lone obstructed view seat in the balcony,” said Mrs. Kauffman. “And even that was $400 on the Pennsylvania Dutch black market.”

Hostetler: The Musical is getting rave reviews as it documents a pioneering Mennonite quarterback’s rise to the Pro Bowl and two Super Bowls.

“Everyone talks about Joe Montana and John Elway, but this musical brings to life one of the forgotten quarterbacks of the 80s Jeff Hostetler,” said Mrs. Kauffman. “It’s really nice. His whole family goes to my church.”

The show’s most famous musical number is the opening piece where a young Jeff Hostetler tells his life story in rap.

“Jeff Hostetler. My name is Jeff Hostetler. There’s a million things I haven’t done. But just you wait.”

Mrs. Kauffman has got the whole song memorized and plans to sing along from the balcony.

“I’ve had the soundtrack for months, so I know all the songs,” said Mrs. Kauffman. “The Locker Room Where it HappensThe Stoltzfus Sisters. I’m Not Throwing Away My Quilt. I love it!”

Mrs. Kauffman is hoping her obstructed view seat might actually not be so bad so long as Mr. Wenger slouches a little.

(photo credit: Ken Lund/CC)

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