New Gun Control Laws Leave Local Man “Completely Defenceless” Against Government Armed with Tanks and Fighter Jets


Local man Mr. Wiebe, who left the Mennonite Church decades ago to attend one more receptive to his gun-toting lifestyle, is just now starting to wonder whether his remaining collection of legal hunting rifles will actually be enough to overthrow the tyrannical government that inevitably follows any gun control measures.

“Hitler? Castro? Mao? What did they have in common? That’s right! Gun control,” proclaimed Mr. Wiebe in an angry Facebook post accompanied by a meme he found somewhere. “We can’t give up our shotguns or else we’ll be completely defenceless against their tanks and fighter jets!”

Having to hand over his assault-style rifles has meant that Mr. Wiebe will no longer be able to defend himself against CF-18s.

“This Tru-dope fellow doesn’t fool me one bit!” exclaimed Mr. Wiebe. “The Lie-berals and their gun control are trying to stop my buddies and I from defending our homes against a brutal military regime with their cruisers and destroyers!”

Mr. Wiebe believes that possession of just a few more rifles will really help out in the inevitable upcoming war against Canada’s National Defence with its budget of eighteen billion dollars.

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