Local Grow-ops Switch to Making Hand Sanitizer


Since the recent health crisis, thousands of grow-ops throughout British Columbia have been ditching the recreational drugs and converting their facilities to the full-scale production of hand sanitizer.

“It’s just one way of giving back,” said a Chilliwack-area grow-op owner. “We’ve always wanted to do whatever we can to connect people and right now we could all use a little hand sanitizer in our lives.”

This new “B.C. Bud” comes with a warning, however, that it is not be taken internally.

“As successful providers of mind-numbers, we really want people to know that safety is always our number one priority,” said the owner. “But right now, you all should be thinking about killing germs, not killing brain cells.”

Some folks are hoping this unprecedented spirit of kindness and generosity spreads into other sectors.

“Hey, if we can get the meth labs on board, then we’ll really be talking. I think it’s times like these that bring us all together as a community.”

The new hand sanitizer will be available in government stores, or from your usual guy in the alley behind the neighbourhood pawn shop.

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