“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants


Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures.

“Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a congregation of women he forced to wear long black dresses and men he forbids to wear neckties or think for themselves. “Freedom, I tell you! Freedom!”

Apostle Hank preached a long and stirring sermon on the topic of freedom and liberty, even going so far as to compare himself to 13th-century Scottish warrior William Wallace.

“They may minorly inconvenience us by making us wear masks at the Shoppers Drug Mart!” yelled Hank. “But they’ll never take our freeeeeeeeeeedom!”

The congregation hooted and hollered along with the proclamation, though not a single one of them caught the pop culture reference as they’re not allowed to watch movies.

“Freedom! Huzzah! So, we don’t have to wear these silly dresses, follow your arbitrary rules or conform to your notions of family, sexuality or gender roles after all?” asked one woman, who was quickly shut up for speaking out of turn.

According to Hank, what he really meant was that he wanted the freedom to make a fool of himself on a weekly basis.

(photo credit: Chris Fithall/CC)

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