Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach

LONDON, UK

Cruisers and gearheads throughout southeast Manitoba were elated Thursday, as Formula 1 confirmed that they are adding a race in the small town of Steinbach, Canada.

The Hanover Grand Prix is set to commence in June of this year, and Ferrari, Renault, and Williams have all signed on, contingent on the Ferris wheel from Summer in the City being removed in time for the race.

“The track will basically just go up and down Main Street,” said F1 president Bernie Ecclestone from his London office. “The cruisers are more or less doing it anyway, so we figured we’d make it official.”

Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel is excited for the opportunity to race in Steinbach. “I’m hoping some of the local Steinbach guys show up in their Honda Civics. I’m ready for them. We’ll even have a burnout competition in the Extra Foods parking lot afterwards.”

Local cruiser Jordan Ens already has his hood up at the Shopper’s Drug Mart lot. “For years I’ve just been racing the RCMP and also my cousin Kurt Dueck. It’ll be nice to race someone at my level for a change.”

Ens says he’s really a NASCAR fan, but F1 will have to do. “It’s good enough,” he says. “But Lewis Hamilton better watch out. They don’t call Steinbach the ‘Automobile City’ for nothing.”

(Photo credit: by Janitors/CC)

Local Man Blames His Narrow Mind on the Zika Virus
LGBT Church Opens Doors in Southeast Manitoba