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Articles by Andrew

Mennonite Life

Mennonites Invade Downtown Toronto During Power Outage

August 11, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites from Waterloo County fled to the big city of Toronto this afternoon after the word got out that the power was down. “Finally, those city folks are seeing the error […]

The Outside World

FBI Discovers Massive Stash of Yerba Tea at Trump Estate

August 9, 2022 Andrew

MAR-A-LAGO, FL According to sources, former President Donald Trump has been growing over 1000 acres worth of yerba mate at his Florida estate. The illicit stash of Paraguayan tea leaves is believed to have been […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Barely Recognizes Cousin He Hasn’t Seen Since Before the Pandemic

August 8, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After not having seen his closest cousin in more than two years, local man Bob Peters walked right past cousin Tim in the knackzoat aisle at the Walmart this past week. “Oba […]

Church

Mennonite Author Achieves Lifelong Dream of Getting Book in Church Library

August 7, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Renowned Mennonite author Eleanor Epp, 71, achieved the highest achievement of her literary career this week after two copies of her short story collection A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Menno […]

Church

Mennonite Sunday School Class to Discuss Ethics of Doing ‘Cash Jobs’

August 6, 2022 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The Eastside Grunthal MCB church will be discussing the ethics of dudes doing jobs for cash in the Sunday morning adult Sunday school class. “Okay, so Garth over there offered to give me […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Hilarious New Show Features Leading Anabaptist Scholars in ‘Drunk Mennonite History’
    October 21, 2020
  • Mennonite Elder Board to Determine Scheifele’s Fate
    June 3, 2021
  • Menno Simons to be Featured in New XBox Game
    May 24, 2019
  • City of Abbotsford to be Renamed “Basically Vancouver”
    July 22, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village
    April 7, 2017
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