LA CRETE, AB
Dan Klassen, 32, of La Crete, Alberta has been given 24 hours to vacate the province and “move to Quebec or someplace” after being spotted driving a Nissan Titan to the job site this week.
“Oba, where is that man’s F150?” said local Truck Compliance Supervisor Mr. Penner. “It’s just not right for an Albertan to go around F150-less like that.”
Albertans pride themselves in their fierce commitment to independence, and requiring every single person in the province to drive the exact same truck is just one way of showcasing that individuality.
“What is that man thinking? A Japanese truck?” moaned Mr. Penner. “It’s almost as bad as that couple I saw in Edmonton with the Prius. Shameful! I hope they’re doing okay in the Lower Mainland of BC where we sent them.”
According to the new law, non-F150 drivers will have until the end of the month to leave the province or face heavy fines.
“We’re a very highly tolerant province, but you can also push things too far,” said Penner. “And driving anything other than a F150 is really far outside the bounds of common decency.”
Premier Jason Kenney plans to confiscate all vehicles other than F150s and send them to the poor truck-less people in Manitoba who need them.
(photo credit: Truck Hardware/CC)