Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer


The Canadian government just announced a record-setting deficit of nearly 400 billion dollars for the year 2020, which has people wondering just where they’re going to come up with the money. The answer, it seems, is quite simple: an industrious Mennonite farmer named Harry Funk.

“We needed someone to lend us the money and were at our wits end until some backbencher recommended we take a spin around Waterloo Country,” said Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland, “and, lo and behold, there was Harry Funk on his combine happy to borrow us a bit of cash…with interest, of course.”

Freeland said she was immediately impressed by Funk’s friendly disposition as well as his breathtaking collection of farm implements.

“I mean, when you see a guy in a brand new John Deere like that, you know he’s got some coin,” said Freeland. “Not like Mr. Lehman over there with his Massey Ferguson.”

Funk said he was happy to help out and got out his Credit Union chequebook immediately.

“I had a good crop last year,” said Funk. “If the federal government needs a little help, I’m more than happy to throw them a few bones.”

As thanks for his generous support, a church gymnasium will be named in Funk’s honour…although, strapped for cash, they did ask him to pay for it himself.

(photo credit: Lutz Blohm/CC)

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