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Month: May 2022

The Outside World

Congress to Do Everything in its Power to Do Absolutely Nothing

May 26, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The United States Senate held an emergency meeting this afternoon to enact powerful new legislation to do absolutely nothing. “We met, we chatted, and in the end, we came together in a bipartisan […]

The Outside World

Every Single Road Named “Worst Road in Manitoba”

May 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual list of “worst roads in the province” was released this month, and for the first time ever the list included every single road in the entire province. “Land of 100,000 lakes? […]

Church

Area Woman Instantly Converts to Whatever Cult Aggressively Thrust This Pamphlet into Her Hand

May 24, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman Doris Loewen, 43, is now a full-fledged member of the Church of Bountiful God (Perspiration) after a gospel tract was trust into her hands with such force that she had no […]

Food and Drink

“Chip Shortage” Sends Mennonites into a Panic

May 23, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a “chip shortage” sent Mennonites into a panic this week as thousands of Klassen and Duecks grabbed whatever chaps they could find on the shelves. “The La Cocina were the first […]

The Outside World

Jason Kenney Quits Politics to Become One of Those Wacko Street Preachers

May 22, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Days after announcing his resignation as Premier of Alberta, Jason Kenney has announced he will spend the rest of his days yelling evangelistic messages on the street corners of major Alberta cities. “Just […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

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    August 23, 2017
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    November 11, 2017
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    December 29, 2018
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