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Month: March 2022

The Outside World

Manitoba Health Data to Be Reported Using Flannelgraph Boards

March 31, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting this week, all upcoming health updates in the province will be reported using the most accurate medium the province was willing to supply: an old flannelgraph board hauled out of a church […]

The Outside World

Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan

March 30, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]

The Outside World

Shocking! Man in Camo Shorts Not Even in the Military

March 29, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area accountant Gord Peters was seen in a local Walmart wearing a pair of camo shorts this weekend. “Waut de hunt! Those don’t look like military-issue cargo shorts to me,” said observer […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man ‘Conscientiously Objects’ to Watching the Oscars

March 28, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Citing his pacifist principles, Mr. Gordon Eby, 71, of Kitchener has submitted a formal written request to enter into “alternative service” during next year’s Oscar Party. “As a member of a historic peace […]

The Outside World

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

March 27, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 36 years, thus ballooning the number of […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Local Pastor ‘Fuming Mad’ He Wasn’t Invited to ‘First Ministers Meeting’
    December 10, 2018
  • Meet Jessica, Winkler Area’s First Newborn Calf of 2017
    January 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Challenges Marie Kondo to Cleaning Competition
    February 17, 2019
  • Henry Reimer to Move to the Corner of Henry and Reimer
    April 17, 2017
  • New Abbotsford AHL Team to Be Named the Knackzoats
    June 30, 2021
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